It goes on too well out of my imagination

Met Gerard at Refco at Temasek tower at 2:30pm.
They will build a Asia hubs for CME Global Syetem by which 95% American futures are traded. I would be one part of his 5 persons technical team in charge the networking and servers for CME and Refco.
They took me to Singapore Exchange in the evening because they leased a international exchange center there which have 36 big monitors on the wall and more than 100 seats for exchangers, each seat will have two computers and 4 monitors.

I will be one part of them in the core. I should be happy, but I am not, I am such calm now and feel huge stress. It's complicated to explain my feeling, I know I am really not good enough to do it, they overlook me. I think I don't desever this fantasic job.
Gerard also asked me if I could quit school or study in past-time, it's crazy but possible if one day I feel powerful enough.
Tell the truth, I like being a student.

Now, I am staying at Shaun's hourse, watching TV with him.
Something I really don't want to think about those vital things I must do and study at present.
Anyhow, I am going to go out and drink coffee with Shaun.